inbox (the last voyages)

[adamantea]

@ poprocks, cabin 2-12

"Hi, this is Poppy? If I'm not available right now, I will be in a minute, so just hold on.
Or think about me really hard, if it's urgent."

Comments

April 4th!

[withintenfeet]

The conversation that led to this started on the third, technically, but here's the thing: Zerxus knows that Poppy doesn't sleep, and that heading straight to her cabin at five in the morning won't be a tremendous bother.

She won't be intimidated by First Knight armour singed black with hellfire; she might be surprised by the sentient mace, but if anything Xartaza could probably use a different conversation partner.

So there's no hesitation, really, when he knocks on her door. Even beyond the urgency of his request, it's one of the most peaceful places onboard and frankly he could use that right now.

Re: April 4th!

[adamantea]

The door opens on its own. If it was someone else she might bother going through the motions of humanity, physicality, but Zerxus is familiar with gods and was one of the most open to her in general; he won't mind.

Poppy herself is stepping out through the bead curtain at the back of the room as the door closes behind him. Her dress is comfortable, long, seafoam green; the subtle patterns of the stitching call to mind lilies of the valley, arching stalks and hanging blooms. "What is it?"

Re: April 4th!

[withintenfeet]

He's radiating stress and steeped in dread, but some of that tension is already bleeding from his shoulders and his gaze is warm in its gratitude. (A part of him rebels against finding solace at all, but that's nothing new. He knows how to ignore it, most of the time.)

"I'm going to need your help."

"There you go, baring your neck to every god but your own."

"...Can you hear her?" Judging by the tone, and the almost affectionate way he rolled his eyes at the mace on his hip, she isn't the problem he's here about.

Re: April 4th!

[adamantea]

"Yep." She rolls her eyes. "One of my domains is sanctuary, you know, so if he's gonna do it for anyone I'm a pretty safe bet."

By this point she's stepped closer to him, pursing her lips. He came here for a reason, and they ought not to be sidetracked. "What do you need?"

Re: April 4th!

[withintenfeet]

Pitiful. There's a kernel of wistfulness there, beneath all the layers of ruthless brutality that make her such a masterful weapon.

"I need to make sure I don't become a liability, if the Admiral is compromised." Killed, as a worst case, but maybe just spread too thin. "And I was wondering if you'd be able to sense - some kind of shift, if - "

You become what you're supposed to be.

Well. Zerxus grimaces, but he doesn't contradict her.

Re: April 4th!

[adamantea]

"Yes." This is more serious; some of the girl falls away to show the god underneath for a second, before it returns. "If you're okay with me looking that deep."

Then she huffs. "'Supposed to be' is a dumb phrase. I'm supposed to be stuck in a time loop, and obviously that's not true."

Re: April 4th!

[withintenfeet]

"You have my permission for anything you need to see, and anything you need to do." There's something hoarse in that, beyond the anxious exhaustion; the notion of gods asking about that kind of thing isn't strange on the Barge, with the ones they have, but he's spent so much more time with his.

Fortunately she gives himself something else to focus on. "And that sounds horrible, I'm glad you broke out of it."

Re: April 4th!

[adamantea]

There are versions of her through the ages, ones who respond to different titles, who would have never asked at all. She has been a great deal of things in her time; choosing to be a person on the Barge, to be an ethical person, is just as much of a role as any other. She's quite old! She has to have something to do with her time, or she'd get bored.

"Then if I notice anything, I'll stop it." These things always seem to happen oh-so-fast no matter how much complexity is contained within those few seconds. She thinks faster than any typical mortal or immortal ever could, on more tracks than they ever could: she'll make something work. She almost always does.

The time loop... the time loop is a complicated thing. "Kind of. If you want to get really technical, it's still going? I'm just not the me in it anymore." Closing it for real would have killed her and retroactively destroyed everything that her cabal had ever done, and that wasn't acceptable to her. They'd worked too hard - come too far - for it to have all been the dream of a girl who had never existed at all in the first place.

Re: April 4th!

[withintenfeet]

It's hard to know gods and not realise how many facets they have, all of them true.

When he says, "I'll keep you on my filter," it's in the full knowledge that nothing divine is simple, or safe; that this is a trust handed to the sort of person she's choosing to be, here, for them.

It breaks his heart a little, that a version of her is trapped. There's always a cost, always a sacrifice, but acceptance and mourning can come hand in hand.

She'll feel that, he knows, but she doesn't seem like the kind of god to confuse compassion with pity.

"Could you tell me about her, one day? The girl you were?"

Re: April 4th!

[adamantea]

"She's not that far. Not all the way."

He has offered her his trust, and she won't break it, but this is for the purpose of the smallest piece of the story; she reaches in and tweaks his perception a little bit, just to let him see Poppy Keo instead of Adamantea for a moment.

And that is a sixteen-year-old girl, smile unsure, slouching, hands in her hoodie pockets and her overalls stained with - paint, hopefully. Maybe ash. Maybe blood. She wears a belt of hanging potions and charms and gemstones. Her eyes are luminous with a pale glow, and there is not a single flower on her person except the floral print of her t-shirt. She looks perhaps more tired than anyone her age has ever been.

She looks everything like Adamantea. She looks nothing like Adamantea.

And then it's gone and she's Adamantea again in her green dress, flowers in her hair. "Tonight's not the right time? But whenever you want to know, just ask. I don't mind."